Herald Walks Out, Steps to the Microphone and States Regally:

Hear Yea! Hear Yea!
The Royal Court of The Chancel Choir is now in session.

Herald Now Plays: Processional Fanfare (Joy In The Morning)
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Pay yea heed to the court!
Halt yea gossip!
Stop yea laughter!
Face to the front and look alive!

On this day, the seventh day of June in the year of our Lord 2003, annae dominae, and the year of our Kevin, seven:

This court is called to annual session, uno annae, in solemn commemoration and for the performance of the official and annual right of service of the defrocking and succession of Her Majesty, the Queen of the Chancel Choir.

[Security "problem" in audience. Subject Terry Houts is wrestled to ground as candy bar is mistaken for a weapon.]]

Be yea advised, that due to pressing concerns for security, this court has been assigned two agents of the dreaded Royal Music Police. These agents will serve as Bailiffs for these proceedings.

The peasants here assembled are warned. These agents are skilled in the application of the Formada. They hold black belts in Counterpoint.

They are mean. They are dangerous. They will maintain order at any cost as you have seen. They will assist with these ceremonies in all ways necessary.
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For those new to the choir. You may ask: Who is the Chief Justice and why do we have this court?

This court is empowered by a higher authority and serves as a judicial review for Chanceldom and its peasant singers.

It functions to bring order to a group where often no order exists.

It functions to arbitrate disputes among its several leaders and assumed leaders.

It dispenses justice when no one else is willing.

And, as today witnessed, it serves as a formal body for the conference of special honors, oaths and distinctions.

The court’s power is complete, its authority absolute and its patience nonexistent.

Without this court, and the reverent respect paid to it, all of Chanceldom would sink into disharmonic chaos.

Why then, is there a queen and who serves as this Monarch?

The legend of the queen originates with the peasant soprano named Sue Woolweaver. As with so many stories originating with the subject Sue Woolweaver, the details and importance escapes the court.

The Chancel Queen serves for a term of one year and provides three important services to the choir:

First, she is a ceremonial symbolic monarch that supports guides and enthralls her subject singers.

Secondly, she lives out her charge to provide symbolic leadership with specific instructions to do nothing to assist or change the course or fortune of the choir during her term.

And thirdly, she provides a useful and convenient subject to blame should the choir’s fortune turn negative during her reign. The importance of this third responsibility cannot be over emphasized.

Who then serves as the queen?

From time immoral, the spouse of the duly elected Chancel Choir president automatically ascends to the thrown – willingly or not.

Should the elected president by without a spouse, the court is empowered to fill the vacancy by conscription after careful review of candidates and their qualifications. This process sometimes works – but as will be evident during this session -- often fails.
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Prepare yourselves to receive your Queen.

Herald, call forth the queen.

Herald Shouts: Call Forth The Queen.

Herald Plays: The Fanfare and Processional through once.)

(Queen regally walks to the front of the court and faces the crowd of subjects)

Oh, hello your Royal Majesty. We are so happy that you could join us. Yes, we are.

Before you, and about you, your Royal Majesty, are your subjects.

Now, shall all the queen’s subjects pay her tribute and honor her on this, her final day.

(Applause)

Your Majesty, this court is empowered to speak on behalf of your subjects. They now express their gratitude and humility for your unswerving leadership during your lofty reign.

Your subjects are grateful for your ambivalence.

Your subjects are grateful for your despondence.

Your subjects are grateful for your arrogance.

During your rule, they believe absolutely nothing was accomplished . . . and for that, your subjects are most thankful, your Royal Majesty.

For this mediocre monarchy, your people express their love and gratitude, your hein-ass.

However, Your Majesty, this court begs to differ with your subjects. Your misdemeanors are numerous and all of Chanceldom has sunk to the depths of a new low during your reign.

Indeed, you are a wanted marauding Monarch. Allow me to read the charges listed in your indictments.

> You are charged with onerous neglect. Thorough your absence, a boxing match prevented the Chancel Choir from visiting Graceland.

> You are charged with abandonment. Your felonious absence encouraged your subjects to run rampant through the streets of New York City misbehaving in all manors and forms.

> Your are charged with pernicious financial misadministration. During your watch, the Royal Chancel coffers were drained, debt collectors called on the treasurer, and dreaded deficit spending become the policy of the realm.